Rivers to Follow Ch. 03

Hello, readers!

Obligatory Excuse for Lateness and Poor Editing: As many of you are aware, it’s the beginning of the first semester here in the US of A, for grads and undergrads alike, so I’m pretty busy.

Hope your Septembers are going well. To my fellow students, I wish you luck. Have a Red Bull for me.

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— Leon xx

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A whole week passed before I saw Julian again. We spent the week texting, sharing the inane details of our days and our odd thoughts, and we talked for hours before bed a couple of times. We had agreed to meet Saturday night, so I was taken aback when my buzzer rang at two in morning and his voice came in through the speaker.

“Matty! Babe! Quit taking forever and let me up!”

I stared at my buzzer in shock. I had just dragged my ass out of my warm, comfy bed to get yelled at by some British bastard trying to get into my home? I jammed my finger against the button.

“What the hell are you doing here, Julian?”

“Seeing you, sexy,” the voice purred, and I rolled my eyes. This man must be drunk.

I unlocked the door and said, “Apartment 223. Try not to be loud.” A cheer and then the clanging sound of Julian tripping over something metal answered me. Jesus. I trudged over to the door and squinted through the peephole so that I could let him in before he made a racket knocking. As soon as I saw him, I swept him into my apartment before he could make a peep. He laughed and wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug, and, even though I was peeved and he was sweaty and reeked of booze, the hug warmed me up inside.

“What are you doing here, Juli?” I asked, laying my head on his shoulder.

“I missed you,” he replied softly, and he kissed my ear. I held back a moan as he began to nibble on my earlobe and pushed him away. I ignored the look of hurt that flashed across his face.

“Julian, you can’t just show up at my home in the middle of the night.”

“But it’s Friday. You don’t have work tomorrow.”

“It’s Saturday morning, Julian, it’s two in the morning and I need to sleep whether I have work or not.” Julian donned the look of wounded sadness that only a drunk man can produce. I rolled his eyes. “Just come to bed.” Julian’s face perked up and he galloped into the bedroom as I followed. He hopped onto the bed and quickly scrambled under the covers.

“Come here, cutie,” he said, clearly thinking himself a regular seductress. I sighed and crawled under the covers, turning my back to him as I did. He whined and tried to pull me toward him.

“Seriously, Julian, no. I’m going to sleep and so are you. Get undressed, if you want to, and lie on your side.” I was sure that if I had turned, I would’ve seen the poutiest expression he could muster, so I stayed still until I heard his breathing fall into a slow, heavy pattern. I turned and saw him fully clothed, passed out on his back. I gently rolled him onto his side and pulled him into my arms. “Goodnight, Juli,” I whispered. He made a small, happy sound in his sleep and snuggled closer to me.

—

I awoke to a mouth-watering smell of a full breakfast. I leapt out of bed and donned a pair of sweatpants, and I started toward the door but then paused. Blushing to myself, I stopped in the bathroom to “freshen up” before meeting Julian in my kitchen. He was attempting to balance a plate of food, a glass of orange juice, and a cup of coffee in his arms, and I almost didn’t catch the drinks before they fell.

“Thanks,” he breathed. I laughed and shook my head, and he blushed. “I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed. To thank you,” he said. He paused and hung his head, but I was more focused on that he was shirtless. “It was super inappropriate of me to show up like that. I just, I got drunk, and I… I wanted to see you,” he finished. I grabbed his hand and smiled.

“It’s alright, Juli. In case you’ve forgotten, drunken come-ons are kinda our thing.” He laughed his loud, warm laugh and shoved my shoulder playfully. I nipped at his jaw and he pressed a kiss to my lips.

“I loved waking up and feeling your arms around me,” he murmured into my ear, and he pulled me into a deeper kiss.

“Yeah,” I replied breathlessly. “I mean, me too. I mean…”

My voice trailed off as he pressed his hardening erection against me. I instinctively began to grind back, running my hands up and down his body.

“Fuck, Matty,” he breathed. “I’ve been so fucking frustrated all week, hearing your voice on the phone every night. You don’t know what you do to me.”

I slipped my hand down to his crotch and began massaging him through his jeans.

“I think I’ve got a pretty good idea.”

He sucked in a choked breath and arched his head neck. I took the opportunity to latch my mouth onto the soft spot beneath his jaw and he swore and pulled my head closer. I nibbled and licked and acıbadem escort began to suck a bruise. It was stupid, and I knew it, but the idea of marking him made me feel entirely better about my position in the relationship. It had certainly helped that he’d shown up to my place drunk in the middle of the night, but I still hated how exposed I felt around him. It’s not as though I would’ve given him the hickey if he hadn’t liked it so much, but, still, I was pleased to see the red and purple pattern on his skin when he pulled away.

“Get over to the counter.” His voice was thick and raspy and I shuddered as I moved to the marble counter in his kitchen. He ran to my bedroom and quickly reemerged with condoms and lube.

“Glad you know your way around,” I laughed, and he just grinned and bent me over the counter.

From my new position, I could only see the small expanse of my kitchen and small movements in my peripheral vision. I pressed my face against the cool surface, and goosebumps raised on my arms. The strip of condoms and bottle of lube landed next to my face, and I smiled a bit upon seeing the rather optimistic number of condoms he’d brought. I hummed as two firm hands began to knead the globes of my ass.

“I love your tight, round ass, Matty. Fuck, you’re so hot. God, I can’t wait.”

He couldn’t see me blush, but I quipped, “Talkative today, aren’t we?” A soft chuckle was my only response. I felt Julian’s fingers inside the elastic waistband of my pants, and I sighed with relief as he tore them down along with my briefs. I tried not to squirm, but I was painfully aware of the fact that I was now nude, bent over a counter, exposing myself to Julian.

“Beautiful.”

I smiled and relaxed against the counter. His fingers began to run up and down my crack, one hand going lower to fondle my balls for a moment, and then returning his finger to my hole. He pressed just the tip in dry, just for a moment, and my breath hitched. Suddenly, I was flipped onto my back and watching Julian strip rapidly. His hungry eyes never left my body, and I was almost bashful at the way he surveyed me. He was naked in seconds, and his dick was soon pressed into my abs, his arms wrapped under my armpits and around my shoulders as he kissed my face. His mouth explored my skin, touching my cheek, my neck, my collarbone, and finally I just grabbed his head and kissed him. Finally, our mouths were reunited, and I moaned loudly and unabashedly into his. He pulled back suddenly, breathing hard.

“Sorry, just needed to kiss you for a moment.” He gave me a grin and I laughed as he spun me back around.

I laid my torso over the counter and waited as Julian ran his hands up and down my thighs, ass, hips, and suddenly his fingers found my nipples and gave them each a tight squeeze. I cried out and he lightly slapped my ass before squatting before it. I could feel his breath on my cheeks as he caressed my ass, and I gasped at the sensation of his tongue pressing lightly against the rim of my hole.

He prodded at the ring, teasing me, and I couldn’t even pretend to protest. I was loving it, squirming and relishing the feeling. Finally, he kissed between my cheeks deeply and began to eat my ass out in earnest. His tongue delved inside and around, and soon his pointer finger replaced it. He eased it into me but was soon pumping it in and out, and when he paused for a moment I whined, missing the movement, until he hooked his finger upward and immediately found my prostate.

I groaned, “Oh, fuck,” and Julian just growled, and he inserted another finger at his new angle and began to fuck me with his fingers harder.

“Julian, Julian, fuck, stop, I wanna come with you inside me,” I moaned, and he quickly pulled out. I propped myself up on my shoulders and tried to regain my breath as he expertly unwrapped and put on one of the condoms. He positioned himself at my entrance and grabbed my hips, and then he pushed into me slowly and steadily.

“Fuck it, Matty, you’re so fucking tight,” he said, and his voice was shaking. I looked over my shoulder and if my cock could’ve gotten harder it would’ve at the sight of this red-faced, sweating, tensed-up man, quaking with need. I could tell that he was holding back, trying to keep his grip light, trying not to lose it.

I looked deep into his eyes and said, “Don’t you dare bitch out on me now.” He grinned and pulled almost all of the way out.

“Fuck you,” he whispered with a smirk, and he slammed his cock into me.

We became a mess of contact and friction and cries and moans. He twisted both my nipples in his hands without missing a beat, and I reached back desperately to hold his ass while he pounded me. He fumbled for my dick and began jacking me as his strokes grew shorter and faster. I thrust into his hand and against his hips in perfect rhythm, and his breath became the loudest thing between us.

“Come, Matty,” he begged. “Come for me. Come with me.”

And atalar escort fuck if I was gonna ignore that plea.

******

I’d never been to the bar on a Saturday before.

It was mobbed, full of strange drunk men whose sweat-slicked skin stuck to mine as I waded through the crowd. I fucking hated it. I tried to keep my eyes fixed on the bar, searching for the one reason I hadn’t turned on my heels and walked right back out the door. I knew he was working, but, even as I approached the bar, I couldn’t spot him. I shrugged and grabbed a stool. He’d be there sooner or later.

“Hey, kiddo!”

I blinked back into my surroundings and was disappointed to see another bartender, the one who’d first told me that Julian was asking about me. He grinned at me.

“Well, don’t look so happy to see me, kid,” he said with a wink.

“I’m definitely older than you,” I replied, “and shouldn’t you be mixing drinks? It’s kinda busy tonight.” I looked back toward the dance floor, which was packed with rowdy, horny men. Ugh.

When I turned back, the guy had leaned forward on his elbows so that our bodies were in much closer proximity. He put his head in his hands and smiled. “It’s my break. I was just about to head out and have a smoke when I saw you.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Listen…”

He rolled his eyes and stood up, away from me. “As if. You’re Julian’s.” My eyes widened at that and he snorted. “Yeah, kid, he told me. He’s always talking about it. It’s really fucking annoying.” My heart swelled and I bit back a smile. “Anyway, I’m Adam. Wanna go have a cig with me and your man?” He gestured to the back door to the alleyway. “He’s on break too.”

I frowned. “And he’s having a cigarette? I didn’t even know he smoked.”

Adam merely shrugged and turned to glide effortlessly through the crowd. I hopped down from the stool and shoved my way through to catch up, barely grabbing the door before it closed behind him.

“Damn, dude, slow down,” I panted.

He laughed and tugged a pack from the pocket of his tight, tight jeans. I leaned against the brick and watched him. He placed the cigarette between his teeth and fished a lighter out of his other pocket.. He was a pretty cute guy, even though I wasn’t into blonds. He had dramatic cheekbones and small pouty lips. Not my type, but, still, cute. I looked to the ground as his eyes flicked toward me. After a moment’s pause, I heard to the flick of the lighter and his first satisfied exhalation.

“I totally thought he’d be out here. Sorry, kiddo.”

I crossed my arms and scowled. “Quit calling me that. What are you, like, 22?”

He laughed again, further souring my mood. “Yeah, I am, but you’re Julian’s boy. You’re always gonna be a kid to us,” he said, still chuckling. My stomach twisted. Is that what Julian told his friends? That I’m his boy?

“Woah, bud, relax.”

I only realized the intensity of my expression when I saw Adam’s look of surprise.

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” he said. “You’re just so, I don’t know, cute, compared to him. Little and, I don’t know if naive is the right word, but, you know. He likes it,” he finished, nodding to himself, clearly thinking that what he was saying was reassuring rather than utterly humiliating.

I clenched my fists and pushed my weight up off the wall. “I’ll see you around, man.”

I began walking back toward my car and didn’t look back as he called, “Wait! Kid! Shit!”

******

MESSAGES:

> JULIAN

SATURDAY

Julian: Adam said you left in a hurry. Is everything alright?

SUNDAY

Julian: Sly, baby, you ok?

Julian: Hellooooo?

MONDAY

Julian: Matty?

Julian: What’s going on?

THURSDAY

Julian: Yeah, alright, Matty. Screw you too.

******

Beautiful yellow-green eyes gazed up at me from my lap. Goldie gave a sweet yawn and a purr as she nuzzled closer to me. Within moments, she was fast asleep.

“I swear, that cat sleeps about 20 hours a day,” Tali tutted. Oz slinked through her legs and hopped up onto my other leg. I looked to Tali helplessly, and she just shrugged.

“Looks like you’re gonna be sitting there for a while.”

I sighed and threw my head back. Tali gave patted my head and returned to the kitchen. Phoebe looked over her shoulder from the stove as Tali approached and gave her a peck. Tali wrapped her arms around her girlfriend from behind and nuzzled her face into Phoebe’s neck. Phoebe whispered something, and they giggled to each other.

“You’re gonna burn the pancakes,” I called out resentfully. They looked back at me and the cats as though they’d forgotten we were there.

“Okay, you bitter old man,” Tali teased, pulling away from Phoebe.

“Too soon, Tals. It’s not funny if I’m actually going to die alone.”

She shook her head with a sympathetic smile, and then Phoebe turned on her heel and snapped, “Stop being so dramatic, Matty. It’s aydınlı escort honestly just irritating at this point.” Then she turned back to the stove and prodded the food with her spatula.

I gaped at her and Tali looked on in shock and fear.

“Matty…” Tali whispered warningly.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Phoebe?” The cats scrambled from my lap, spooked by my volume.

When Phoebe turned to me, I was caught off guard by the look on her face; not because of its irritation or anger but because of its sadness, its exhaustion. She set a case of strawberries down on the table and sighed.

“God, Matty, I love you to goddamn death, and I’ll never understand what you went through, but you gotta let people earn your trust. You’re not just hurting yourself when you do this shit; you’re hurting him too. You’re making this sweet guy out to be this huge dick– why, because one of his dumbass coworkers had shit to say about your relationship? You didn’t even let him explain. I mean, damn, Matty… it’s not fair.”

I didn’t even try to escape as she came over to hug me. I tried not to sniffle, but she heard me, of course, and she brushed the small tear rolling down my cheek.

“He wants to earn your trust, Matty. He’s trying to be vulnerable with you, but he can’t do it if you won’t let him.” She stroked my hair and forced me to meet her eyes. “Text him back. Alright?” I sighed and nodded. She smiled and patted my cheek before returning to the stove, where Tali had taken over. Phoebe looked at her girlfriend, then at me. “Well, go set the table!”

Tali and I exchanged glances and replied, together, “Yes, Mom.”

******

I wrung my hands as I entered that fucking bar. Phoebe’s words had been weighing on me all day. It was a small blessing that Julian worked Fridays because I just couldn’t say what I needed to over the phone, and I didn’t think showing up at his apartment unannounced would go over well. I checked the time. Eight-thirty. The place was pretty much dead, which was perfect for my purposes. I wandered over to the side of the bar that he worked, half-hoping that he wouldn’t be there. He was, of course, and he looked completely handsome to boot. A stray piece of hair had fallen from his ponytail and hid one eye as he looked down at the limes he was cutting. I swallowed and checked myself for lint, or dust, or any sort of excuse to bolt out of there. I found none, so I just marched right up and plopped myself down on a stool.

“Julian,” I said, more loudly than I had intended. He spun around, looking at me wildly. His expression of disbelief turned to one of relief for about a third of a second before it turned to one of fury.

“Why are you here?”

I winced, knowing that the words were fair but still stinging from their impact. He bit his lip, looking as though he was going to apologize for his tone, but he didn’t, so I steeled myself and began speaking.

“I’m sorry. And– Julian, please,” I insisted as he opened his mouth, presumably to tell me off, “just let me say what I need to.” He eyed me for a moment, and his anger seemed adequately subdued, so I continued. “I took my insecurities out on you. Adam told me that you’d been talking about me, that you said I was your boy and that I was cute and little compared to you and that I was a kid to you.” I shook my head, unable to meet his gaze, but I could still feel him looking at me. “It was fucking degrading. Please, just… tell me that isn’t true.” I heard a huff and I managed to look up.

Julian had his eyes trained on me, and he looked, in one word, pissed. His arms were crossed, his jaw was rigid, and his whole body looked stiff. He was definitely pissed.

“Of course it’s not true, you asshole!”

The eruption seemed to surprise even Julian himself. The few others in the bar turned to look, which included Adam, who cursed and quickly scurried away. I, for my part, recoiled from the bar in fear. Julian let out a strangled laugh.

“What, now you think I’m gonna hit you?” he asked incredulously. “When did I become a complete monster to you, Matty?”

“Please–“

” You didn’t even give me a chance to defend myself. Why? Because of Adam? I’ve never even see you speak to him, and now he’s convinced you I’m the biggest piece of shit in the world. I know you didn’t think of me like that last weekend, when you were under me begging, crying my name, moaning like a…”

His voice cut short and our eyes met, both of us registering what he had almost said. My heart felt like it was draining, like everything inside of it was just going to pour out and I was going to wither away. I told him, I told him not to call me that, that was the one thing I asked for, and I could see in his eyes that he knew he’d screwed up. He looked terrified. When I spoke, my voice was dry of emotion, just bitter and biting.

“So you don’t think of me as a kid, you just think of me as a slut. Good to know, thanks.”

“No, Matty–“

He reached to grab my hand and I snatched it away. He looked at me, and I looked at him, and he looked so upset, and so lost, and so… heartbroken… that I found myself pushing through the gate that leads behind the bar and collecting him into my arms.